**a LiFe without close sOuls**CoLoUrS oF LiFe???

Sunday, January 11, 2009

-::::: a tRasHeD sOuL :::::-

被打碎的梦想
~ a penned resolution, a jaded me ~

just 2 weeks ushering into the new year
i realized the path in front of me is wavering
i see no end, i sense no strength
day by day as i hope
day by day i was trashed

since the day i made that turning point
i dare to dream no more
i dare to pursue no more
as a dream was shattered, and so was I

i lost myself in the process of imaginative healing
being in disillusion that i might just be high up there
soon, i will lose my footage
caging up and pass those days

the green-eyed monster in me starts to emerge
for under many circumstances that cant be submerged
i disagree with "competition is healthy, for it makes one better"
as in the 1st place, no chances/opportunities & trust was given
i tried many a times to motivate myself
convincing that i was "saved" for much more
but time after time, i fell deeper into the hollow well

many said "Life's a never-ending learning journey"
we must 活到老学到老
crap shitz to that
many a times, time waits for no man
how often pple are willing to wait for one to learn those ropes
when right smack in front of them comes someone whom knows it all
in this circumstance, even if one is willing to learn, it's just for enriching purpose only
it doesn't help to bring you wealth, acknowledgment and opportunities, for its long taken by others

it has come to a point of time in my life that i see no purpose anymore
i live my life day by day with no goals
just being plain happy with a shelter above my head
??? where's the ME ???
please don't ask, for neither do i know
- silence -

adding on,
watching hell's kitchen s4 brought back many fond memories
it triggers many similar happy moments i once shared
the days when i am groomed in any ways possible
the days when i was provided opportunities that i could not hv asked for more
the days when i was empowered
the days where pple sees talent in me which i never know exists
..... it made me realized .....
it's really impt to have someone our there to lookout for you
to provide all kind of opportunities
to support, trust & believe in YOU
sadly, its also something i destroyed it with my own bare hands
looking back, i reprimanded myself .....
??? Y ???
i concluded, i was young back then

~ 嘻嘻哈哈的人生背后，掩盖了很多无人知的故事～

4:53 pm;