**a LiFe without close sOuls**CoLoUrS oF LiFe???

Saturday, March 29, 2008

@ M.O.N.O.T.O.N.Y @

the above drawing depict what i have been feeling for the past days/weeks
easter holiday is approaching into the end of the 2nd week
2 more weeks to go,omg
for the 1st time,i dread holidays
..... all i do everyday is .....
sleep 6am-4pm
eat 5pm n 1am
watch tv 4pm-6am
project research 1am-2am
i'm practically trapped in my own "kingdom" every single day
the only time i step foot out of my "kingdom" is when i head to Tesco,the supermarket
i've become sooooo restless that i feel really O.L.D
the hustle and bustle lifestyle no longer suits me anymore
i dread seeing swam of "human bees"
basically,i am in isolation
..... snoar .....
but,the funny me,yearns for such a lifestyle when i was struggling hard for my dissertation
i hate this feeling of mixed emotions
{yucks yucks}

on the other hand,the past 2days have been much better days
{lol lol lol}
finally,i've got sth to do
the shipping boxes have arrived and i am all ready to clear those spiderwebs
my mates have always been harping by my ears on how much things i have
i kept rebutting them that it's all necessities and it ain't alot
I TAKE BACK MY WORDS AND I AM REGRETFUL NOW
i've TONs of USELESS shitz which i wonder y i bought/have them in the 1st plc
i am seriously a "MOUSE",my heart aches whenever i need to throw sth away
i am known for keeping almost everything and anything
i would love to do so this time as well,but i just cant
i cant afford to ship all of the things back
IT'S JUST TOOOOO MUCH
i've told my mum about it
this is wat she replied
"see la,buy more buy more.buy until cant come home"
{i was giggling my way thru}
*** Welcome ***
enjoy in viewing the diminishing "kingdom"
{lol lol lol}

while dwelling on my packing
a thought came through my mind
a qns was popped in a sudden
"???am i heading back to Sin for good???"
it seems like it,from the way i've packed my things
no segregations were made in terms of prioritization
the boxes will only arrive in sin in mid july
i did not take into consideration of things i might need
esp during the time spent in sin/holiday/overseas working opportunities
all of a sudden,i felt lost

我的学生生涯已快到了终点
我开始失去了方向

最近的我已发现
我已没资格在控制自己的人生
我已失去选择的权力

接下来要走的路
是由别人给我的道路

?为何呢?
那这么多年来的付出和努力不已经变成“米田共”

我非常讨厌人生的转捩点

4:15 am;